The Realizations
the true story of faith and how it can be obtained.
by Michael F. Nyiri


A Personal Tale

Many years ago, while much younger than I am today, one of my managers at a retail establishment I worked for which later went out of business said to me, "Someday when you get older, you'll come to the realization. You're full of spit and vinegar now, and seem to think you know what you want and where you're headed, but someday you'll find that you're wrong, all your dreams and wishes are exactly that, dreams and wishes, not reality, and when you reach this realization which comes with age, you will feel much better, and be much wiser."

I always thought, of course, that this gentleman had reached his realization, and it had taught him the wisdom of which he wanted to impart to me.

Years later, of course, I did reach the realization he was talking about, and I sighed and thought , "I think I might have known this all along,"

When I was much younger than that, my parents instilled in me a sense of greatness due probably to the fact that I always received good grades in school. My mother in particular always called me "her little genius". For years as a youth, my upbringing was such that I felt myself superior, a "little genius", and I felt I knew things, that I was chosen. Real life taught me differently, of course, and this early realization taught that misconceptions can be disheartening. All of a sudden I wasn't a "little genius" at all. I knew nothing. And that taught me more.

In the First Baptist Church where my family worshipped , we used to receive enlightening plaques and
spiritual knick-knacks out of a glass fishing bowl when we memorized certain Bible verses and stories.
I received many plaques and knick-knacks, The Church called the exercise "fishing". We were "fishers of men". By the third grade I wanted to be a preacher.

My father was not a well man. He had had about eight or nine heart attacks by the time I entered Junior High School, and he could no longer attend Church on a regular basis. When the old pastor died, and the new pastor wanted to raise tithes to put a new, "modern" facelift on the Church, he came to our house one evening to talk to my parents. Although my father couldn't attend services any longer, and my mother stayed home on Sunday to be close to my dad, a missionary friend of the family used to take my brother, sister and I to Sunday School and Church each Sunday. The new pastor explained to my father that since he hadn't attended Church for a while, he in essence owed the Church for his back tithes. I can still remember hearing the heated discussion from my bed.

I left the church that night. I was in the seventh grade.

Throughout high school, I believed I was an athiest, agnostic at best. My goal at that time, around 1968 and 1969 was to found my own Church, a church of the heart, dedicated to some fundamental belief which or course I didn't know about yet. I had just lost my faith in God, I foolheartedly believed. Because of man's greed, specifically the pastor's at our family Church, I felt I had lost a deep faith in my existence and my capabilities, I began my search.

I would preach to people at school that I wanted to found my own religion. I would base it on the spiritual exuberance then running rampant in the "Jesus Movement". Only it would not be just about Jesus. I felt as if Jesus was one of many great teachers throughout history, but the Christian religions were somewhat wrong in proclaiming him the one and only "Son of God." I felt another small realization, and planted a seed which has since grown astoundingly. It was an exciting time for me while in high school. During my life up to that point I had been completely sheltered, and with the explosion of "youth culture" on the college campuses , I felt now that I was a part of the rebellion, I became a "hippie" in spirit.

When I went to college in 1971 I still had a sense of family values, however, living at home, buying my father's car with my allowance, and paying my parents rent even though the college campus was fifty miles away. A realization burrowed up from my conscienceness in college, and this was another blow to the psyche detailing that all my high school teachers, quick to jump on the "little genius" bandwagon, had been wrong. Instead of A's as in high school, I received B's and C's in college. The professors in college treated me like just another coffee bean passing through the grinder of life. I didn't feel "special" anymore, and this small realization widened my vision of life. College was a much bigger pond.

My first real realization hit me like a hammer in 1972. When my mother suffered a bilateral stroke at 51while I was in my second year of college, I felt I had nothing left to live for. With time and emotional help from friends, I soon joined another church, a Pentacostal holy roller affair, and I tried to find a reason for existence. Then my father died of his 13th heart attack two years later. Life suddenly and seemingly without meaning changed for me. At twenty-one, and at a time when I felt an incredible need to experience the hedonistic pleasures of the secular world around me, I found myself without a familial rudder, fated to become my mother's legal guardian, in charge of her estate, and mourning the loss of this tight little womb into which I had always felt I had been placed.

If, in fact, I possessed a "genius" it seems to me now that that was the time to exercise this great knowledge and wisdom. I was still a kid, however. Children grow up too quickly these days. Our "baby boom" generation felt we would always be children. We called ourselves "flower children". I had to grow up, and I countered the responsibilities being laid upon me by slipping farther and farther into the hedonistic pleasures of sex, drugs, and rock and roll which were rampant in the youth culture at the time. With my father dead, and my mother a virtual vegetable without speech nor recognition (I thought), I made the dreadful mistake of leaving her hospital room for the last time. In 1974 she still had three years left to live. I never saw her again and did not attend her funeral in 1977. To me she had died at the time of the stroke. She wasn't the same. I kept searching for answers with religion, with drugs, with pleasure, with pain. I was lost, but I hardly realized it.

What I did realize was a need for connections in life, since my familial connections seemed to be ending. I had many friendships which kept me afloat. I couldn't find romantic love at that point, and I wrote many poems detailing my search for another half to complete my whole. There were Christian fellowship groups on one hand, and racous Fraternity parties with college friends and buddies from work on the other. I was having my cake and eating it too. If I possessed "genius" at this point, I used it to juggle the various aspects of a double life. At work, in the retail industry, I first rose to a respected position as a department manager, then moved with the company to a new location in an area where the "youth culture" had been even more of an explosion than in my home town. The rewards of responsibility in the workplace served to fuel the hedonistic desires of my playtime. Old friends gave way to new friends, hardly "Christian" or spiritual in nature, and I dove into the fire of this newfound life with gusto. Playing with fire in this way had it's drawbacks however, and led to my second realization.

The Realizations
the true story of faith and how it can be obtained.
by Michael F. Nyiri


Wisdom and Questioning

The second realization in my life arrived after a particularly satisfying trip to New England with a friend and his family for a vacation. Like a mad journalist I respected and copied, we filled a rented car with drugs and alcohol and drove from California to New Jersey with his wife, mother, and two children. The car broke down. The children were impossible, but we were higher than kites for most of the trip, and I remember it as a truly exciting experience. When I returned to my job as department manager, I was demoted from Garden manager to Seasonal manager, and then I was hit with the second realization. I was fired, ostensibly for dress code violations, in reality for drug abuse off the job, but after nearly six months on unemployment insurance frantically trying to find a new job I realized that again, life is not structured, and certain things seem to happen for no apparent reason.

A new job beackoned, for a new retail establishment trying to lay a groundwork in Southern California in the latter part of the seventies. The gentleman who hired me had been a carpet buyer at the retail chain which was swallowed by the new fish, and he had essentially been downsized into being a store manager for the new chain. Since the stores were being remodeled, there was a great feeling of revitalization and rebirth in this particular company, and the gentleman guided me through the machinations of the job as well as the vagaries of his philosophies. At this point, I again began to feel a sense of empowerment, of invulnerability.

My "Godfather", as I called him, had gone through a series of life changes just as recently as I had, the only difference being that he was about twenty years older. He gave me the word: realization. He taught me what he had not learned from his life, and it taught me much.

The lesson is simple, and it has formed the basis of what I believe to be true and fact. The seed which planted for me the secret of the universe. With age comes knowledge. With time comes wisdom. No matter how one perceive's oneself, as an ignoramus or a know-it-all, no one knows anything until it comes to them. In time, almost all manner and matter of life experiences sets one up for realizations. If one keeps passing over these clues to existence, then one cannot be fulfilled by the lessons life has to teach. If one can spot and regulate these clues, then one is on a personal journey toward enlightenment, at least in the corporeal world. My Godfather told me I would see much in time, that I would know things and more. At the time, since these realizations hadn't manifested themselves completely in my psyche, I really didn't know exactly what he was talking about. I felt he was elliptical and senseless. But I listened, and I learned. Age itself is the teacher, and as one passes through this journey called life one is filled with the tools to understand not only the self but the self-in-self, the universal mind which permeates us all. But I am getting ahead of myself.

My second realization was the dictum to watch, live, and learn. All these platitutes passed on for centuries had a little truth in them, and what one had to learn from existence first of all was to sift through and decipher all the experiences and wisdom which have come before and organize them into a tangible plan for living.

My eyes had been opened. But a couple of realizations at such a young age of course did not spell truth for me yet. My Godfather had problems himself, and I didn't really think he had much to give to me in the way of knowledge at the time. He drank heavily, as I was doing also, and when he was kicked out of his house by his wife he spent the first night on my couch in my living room. Eventually the company needed my skills as a truck driver (My Godfather had "taught" me how to drive a multiple speed transmission by putting me in the cab of a company truck and telling me to step on the gas. I essentially taught myself, and this knowledge came to good use.)

Driving a truck full of merchandise around the whole of Southern California, I lost track of my Godfather. The eighties were dawning, and I felt a surge of rebirth. I ceased questioning life, and began living. I still manipulated a sort of double life, and new and more intriguing drugs were added to the mix. I do not discount these experiences with drugs and alcohol. Many souls feel lost because they cannot control their basest desires. I used mind expanding substances first as simply a means of entertainment, but certain chemicals when mixed with those in the brain cause an immersive experience which just cannot be discounted. Again, a realization was about to emerge. A realization which has been around at least since the early indigenous peoples started ingesting certain herbs and roots which transported them to another plane of existence.

By this time I felt no spiritual guidance at all. I had truly "left the church" of Western Civilization. It would be years before I realized the connection between the rise of Western Civilization, and Christianity in particular, with the rise of ill will between the peoples of the world, but that is getting ahead of myself again. The third realization began as entertainment, something to do on a Friday night, partying with friends. My buddy with whom I traveled to New Jersey in 1977 had kept urging me to try acid, lysergic acid diethemilyde, or LSD for about a year. I took my first "trip" that year and after numerous "trips" another realization came to me. One which caused me to question the complete audacity of the teachings of modern civilization and religious beliefs. The drugs weren't and end-all and be-all. Like all life experience, they were teaching tools, and they taught me much.

Also in the early eighties, after much searching for a soul mate, I began a series of short but intense physical and intellectual relationships with women. I couldn't find the soul mate, but I did find a woman who introduced me to some of the more demanding personal growth programs which permeated much of the seventies. She was an EST graduate, and her husband was an acolyte of the Lifespring group. Although no one hears much about these programs anymore. It seems most of the programs advertised nowadays are set up to make you believe you can make more money, at that time many people became "me groupies" enthralled with the idea that they could better their world by bettering themselves. Of course the people who ran these programs elicited much money from the acolytes, and thought they could improve people's worth by belittling them. The point is that people are looking for answers, and though I felt I found no answers within these groups they did answer a need. And that need is still here. In fact, at this turn of the Millennium there is more need for answers than ever before, but the answers do not lie in the betterment of self, but in the betterment of understanding of a new type of belief system, one which deletes the need of self-fulfillment, because it is self-fulfilling in it's simplicity.

At the dawn of the eighties, I was hit with the third realization

The Realizations

the true story of faith and how it can be obtained.
by Michael F. Nyiri


Another Plane of Existence

Dissatisfied with the search for meaning and purpose in life, by the dawn of the eighties, I had pretty well given up on gaining any insights at all, and dove headfirst into a life of rampant hedonism, fueled by the good money I made as a truck driver, and then warehouse manager for the retail chain. Spirituality really had nothing to do with my life at this point, but I gained the third realization as a result of experimentation with drugs. The spiritual meaning imparted to me came after reading Carlos Casteneda and injesting vast amounts of LSD.

Every disjointed connection in my tortured psyche was shown to me under the influence of LSD. Although I was using the drug recreationally, the truths it gave to me far outshone it's entertainment qualities. First and formost, it was the first drug I ever took which "altered" the concept of reality. People have long discussed the hallucinogenic qualities of acid. Even before I used the substance, there were quite a few treatises written on the subject. I knew that with a drug that powerful, people could tend to believe the misconstrued reality, and in effect, go crazy. That is what Albert Hoffman had in mind when he invented the properties of the drug to study the schizophrenic mind.. The main thing LSD taught me was that even though the hallucinogenic feelings and images seemed to be real, I knew they were not. But little things the drug did to the mind, like bending the perception of one's field of peripheral vision, for instance, told me that the human mind is not being fully tapped, and there are perceptions and properties of the mind, that through experimentation with drugs like LSD, that have not fully been realized by mankind.

In no way do I condone drug use. As I have related,, the genesis of my introduction to the drug culture came about merely as a result of the times and my youth.The drug itself was not beneficial. The opening of Aldous Huxley's "doors of perception" was somewhat beneficial by default. Since I now saw that the mind does not use all of it's power, I wanted to see how many doors I could open. In the end, what I realized was quite simple. There is another plane of existence which coincides with the corporeal plane in which we all live. It is not visible, but it exists, Just like the perceived realities which I experienced while on acid,, my mind perceived that the current reality , i.e., our existence on Earth in the "here and now" was not the only existence. I did not receive this realization from Religion, but from "expanding the mind" through mind altering substances. There of course is a precedent for this. The indigenous peoples of this continent used peyote and psilocybin as a means of "connecting" to the spiritual godhead.. Some tribes believed that the substances opened a "spiritual window" through which they could gain insight into the spiritual world. Although Western Civilization discounts such beliefs, they are somewhat true.

The process of my "realizations" was not quick nor prescient. Throughout time, with the life lessons I learned gradually simply by the process of living and noticing the clues life had to offer, I came to know the truth. Eventually, the drug use abated.. As I grew older, I did not need this means of entertainment, and in fact was nearly fired from another management position attained at the retail establishment because of drug use off work. That point proved moot however, as the retail chain could not find a foothold in the Los Angeles marketplace, and went out of business, so I found myself out of work again in 1982.

Since my position as a "Merchandise Manager" for this chain was pretty far up the store management ladder, I found myself without a job but with a sizable severence income. I used the three months taking vacation trips and spending money. I had three months rent paid, on the apartment in which I lived, so sought to take pleasure in the time off. By Christmas, I had a new job at a new retail establishment,, but farther down the chain of command. When one retail chain goes out of business, the pond is then full of managers who need jobs with the established chains. I had experienced this firsthand. My "Godfather" had been downsized. Now so was I. Before I gained employment during Christmas season of 1982, I was hit hard by the fourth realization. Up till then, I had really been abusing alcohol. Although the drug use tapered off, I had a penchant for drinking large quantities of beer. One evening, while at a bar with a friend, I had "a bit too much" to drink, and found myself literally "in the gutter" after being beat up in the bar parking lot by a couple of bikers who stole my money, broke my glasses, and knocked me out.

This was enough of a realization that I had to quit drinking.

The Realizations
the true story of faith and how it can be obtained.
by Michael F. Nyiri


Destiny Is Preordained by the Self

A lot of the lessons I have learned come from simply living in the world, watching the actions and reactions of people, and using the information gained to chart my own course through the time I have on the planet. After a particularly brutal beating while drunk, I literally found myself "in the gutter" and quit drinking. Since I had been drinking , mainly beer, since before I was even of a legal age, I had been pulled over a few times on the road while drunk, and eventually even had my driver's license revoked by the State of California. With a new job at a new retail establishment, I realized I had a commitment to make to my sanity. So I gave up drinking "cold turkey", on my own, simply because it was the most intelligent thing to do at the time.

Again, like most of the "realizations" which have come to me, this was not a spiritual message from some ethereal presence. It was a hard life lesson which had to be followed. The fourth realization was that I was completely in control of my destiny. Other people had problems "going sober". Other people needed some sort of crutch to get them through life. I realized I did not need any crutches. I suddenly realized, that I was totally in control of every aspect of my life. I also realized that even though no one admitted it, they could "throw away their crutches" as easily as I had. Some friends would tell me it was only because of "my nature" that I could go from drinking twelve cans of beer a night to total abstinence. (Well, actually not total abstinence. I started eating a lot of ice cream. But I never felt this was another crutch. I like ice cream.)

If a human being wants to accomplish something, it is in "his nature" to do so. The "self-help" movement of the seventies was merely an attempt to foist this philosophy on paying searchers, most of whom didn't "realize" it was that easy in the first place.I spent the remainder of the decade sober, and rose through the ranks of the retail establishment, finally becoming an "Area Manager" in charge of four departments before the company went out of business. My personal life was fairly stable at this point. I had a couple of relationships with "girlfriends" that didn't last too long, and I was writing poetry , drawing artwork, and making videos.

Since the fourth realization had already taught me that I was in charge of my life, the loss of meaningful employment did not really bother me. I pretty much knew that I had nothing to worry about, I knew I would get a job, and did. Even before the company closed it's doors, I had found work in management for another retail chain. Since I obtained the job before the company I worked for closed it's doors, this time I didn't receive any severence benefits. I did receive the benefit of getting a higher management position than I would have if I had waited for the pond to fill up with other out of work fish.

My understanding of the principles of life were paying off for me, Of course one cannot with certainty say that one is completely in charge of his destiny. One could get hit by a bus crossing the street. But essentially, the roads one chooses to take in life are chosen either because of knowledge of self , or because of the philosophical equivalent of a coin toss. Those who misconstrue the lessons life teaches and do not learn by them are usually the ones who complain about the random nature of existence. There are those who passively become part of their own scenery, and there are those who carry around their own paintbrushes.

My father's family came to this country from Hungary.. He always told my siblings and myself that an explosive temper is part of being Hungarian. I have always had an explosive temper. But it became very interesting to me, that although I do tend to get "explosive" and yell a lot when confronted with small trifles, the larger problems and setbacks which have occured in my life do not really bother me. I seem to sense that even though a major loss like that of one's livelihood, or even a friend's death, will not really "bother" me. I never get really upset when major setbacks occur. If anything, I tend to become calmer. I see the connections taught by life. I learn and I go on. So far, I have been either lucky, or I have been able to gauge my existence and react to each setback in a proper manner.

Although not a true realization, this quasi realization had occured some years earlier after I had been in a car wreck on a particularly hairy California freeway on the way home from classes at USC. It was raining, and my Volkswagen hit a puddle while maneuvering a turn, hydroplaned, and hit a fence at 60 mph. I walked away from the wreck with no injuries and had no one else in the car. Serendipity had been at work and I spun out between packs of traffic, and although one whole side of the freeway had to be closed down in order to get what was left of my car disconnected from the chain link fence, nobody else was involved in the accident. I remember thinking that I was indeed lucky to be alive, and I remained calm as two tow trucks arrived to try to figure out a way to remove my vehicle. The highway patrolmen were very humorous in the situation. It seems that the fence I had destroyed was a known "danger zone" and had just been reapaired a few weeks earlier following another wreck. Since the fence separated the freeway from a concrete "wash", it was serendipity again that decreed that it had been fixed or else I might have sailed into the culvert and met my final realization. That was not the case, however. I always will remember the song playing on the radio right before I spun out. It was "Jesus is Just Alright With Me" .

I spent only a year at the last retail establishment before getting fired for what was supposedly an infraction of company security. I still believe I did nothing "wrong" but was merely a pawn of the company's established principles. Although a key carrying "duty manager" in charge of the total operations of the store, in the Christmas shopping season of 1987 I offered a friend of mine, a church deacon in Orange county, a "markdown" for some defective typewriters which his churchmembers would repair and use in the ministry. I did not use the company's "posted" markdown procedure, and was recorded by a security camera. The store manager even saw these events as ridiculous, but was a slave to the company dictates. I was without work again. But even this turn of events for me did not signal a mind-boggling sense of loss. A few months earlier my best friend had died in surgery following an operation to repair his spinal column after he fell twenty feet off of a "picking machine" at his work pulling merchandise for distribution by the Toy manufacturer for which he worked. Neither of these events caused me that much grief. I had lost jobs before. I had lost my parents. The events merely set me up for the fifth realization.

Each decade taught me lessons. Each realization built upon the last. Things change, people die, time marches on. You either learn to live with what you've got, or you lose your somewhat fragile sanity. Some people cannot cope with loss, but these people probably have not been able to learn from their life lessons. This is what I have learned, and what I am learning every day of my life.

The stage was being set for the fifth realization.

The Realizations
the true story of faith and how it can be obtained.
by Michael F. Nyiri


I am a Child of the Universe

Along the path of life one finds either disconcerting causes and effects which seem to blow away proportion, or one finds solace in the fact that even though all occurrences might seem random and somewhat unbelievable at times, they are all linked to a sense of purpose above and beyond the self. When my best buddy Tom died in 1987, and soon after that when I lost my last job in the retail market in Southern California, I was ready for my fifth realization, and this was the stepping stone from which I began finalizing my belief system which was begun so long ago when I left the Baptist Church.

In my personal life, I began a series of changes. I moved into a house which I shared with two male friends, so I didn't have to pay too much rent. I left the retail trade altogether, and eventually secured a job as a panelbuilder in a small electrical parts distributorship. The hours were shorter. The pay was less than what I was accustomed to getting, but through careful manipulation of time and energy, I still maintained the degree of life which I had always enjoyed.. My Hungarian temper really never flared up in these extreme circumstances, as I have explained before, it is only the small things which really get me upset in life. Since I had a lot of time to myself, I began videotaping again, and writing. I had time to collect movies, and to think about my situation. Each day was a revelation, and soon I began thinking about spirituality again.

Although I did mention that the events unfolding in my life did not seem to cause me too much consternation, I did begin drinking beer again, but only for the high and I did not drink to excess as I had a few years earlier. My secular life was very comfortable during this period, and events got me to thinking again about my place in the world and the spiritual aspects of existence.

This is the fifth realization, and the door to the ultimate truth. The Universe is so vast that most people cannot even fathom it. Physicists and religious leaders quarrel at length about the nature of mankind , the universe, and the existence of God. No one can grasp what cannot be grasped,, so there are many theories. In the latter half of the eighties, specifically as the decade of the nineties was about to dawn, I realized that not everybody could be right, because there seemed to be so many theories. However, the fifth realization for me turned out to be the answer to a simple question. If everybody positing these various theories thought they were right, what if they were? The realization is that they are. I realized that there might not be any reason for anyone to fight over the ultimate truth. Maybe the ultimate truth exists for us all in the same way. Maybe all theories are more a little bit right than a little bit wrong. This realization tripped up my complete being. All of a sudden I felt I understood something nobody seemed able to grasp. I tried to explain it to my friends. I tried to sort it out in my mind. I felt as if I were given a gift of knowledge, but that no one wanted to listen. My personal saga, while far from over, took a backseat to my spiritual saga.

The events of the Gulf War and the Chinese student rebellion, I think,, helped cement these truths in me. As usual in the world, differing ideologies clashed, causing mortal damage among the people of the earth. I began to ponder that Jesus Christ, Mohammed, Buddha, and a wealth of lesser prophets could conceivably all be right. Mankind's narcissistic nature dictated that no one wanted to entertain the idea. But I did. I felt then, as I do now, that belief systems are wholly inventions of mankind designed to keep the lower classes in line, and do not inherently preach the truth. The truth has always existed, and these various prophets and holy men were certainly conduits to the truth, but not all the conduits have been joined together. Each belief system grew and mutated on it's own, without benefit of intermingling the ideas. Each belief system per mutated into an ironclad religion which dictated that all other belief systems had, by law, to be wrong. These belief systems have been around for millennia, and as the years passed, no one could believe anything other than what they'd been taught. Therefore Christians, and sects within the Christian religion would not agree with the dictates of the Islamic faith, or of Buddhism, or of any other dogmas which disbelieved in the dictates that Jesus Christ was the absolute savior and He was the only figure anyone had to believe in.

My realization did not stop there. If bickering religions were all, or all had elements of the ultimate truth in them, then how about Hinduism, and reincarnation? I wanted to go farther. How about life on other planets? What if every belief system mankind had set up for himself from his beginning was right in some way. And why not? My thoughts permitted me to believe that everything was true. Each prophet seemed to preach basically the same thing. Love and tolerance were always the chief concern, yet because different religions are always at war with each other, throughout the ages mankind has been decimated by his own beliefs, and his inability to understand that those differing beliefs are all linked. The realization I received is a simple one. Everything is linked . All thought is Universal. All of mankind are brothers and sisters, no matter what they believe, and no matter what any religion will tell them, We are all "saved" and will come to what I call the "ultimate realization" at the time of corporeal death. No one knows what is in store. At least no one walking the Earth today. However, we are all children of the Universe, and become what Carl Sagan called "star stuff." The personal becomes the Universal. The simple becomes cosmic.

I admit this is a lot to swallow, and I didn't come upon it all at once. Throughout my personal "realizations" I received small bits of knowledge which not only helped me through life, but helped me to understand the meaning of it. We all wonder why we are here. We all wonder why there are wars and killing, insanity and misunderstanding. I say that there is a simple reason. The very foundation of organized religion which is the basis of every single civilization on the planet is the cause of all the strife and apocalyptic events in our history. I was raised Baptist, and gained firsthand knowledge at a very young age that there were warring factions within my own church. As I grew, I came in contact with other religions and belief systems which denied the existence of Christianity. What if Christ were a great teacher, perhaps toudhed by "God", and perhaps there are others touched in the same way? Isn't it a shame that all these beliefs cannot live side by side? My theory , my "realization" is that they should. And there are other concepts to be put into play as well.

I came to the end of my "personal" journey at the dawn of the nineties with the fifth realization. Now, at the dawn of the New Millennium, I am ready to preach this great news. My personal journey is still happening, and of course will happen till my death, but the "Universal" journey is only a dream if it is not now embraced.
This work in progress is now at the point where I wish to outline the "Universal Mind." As I have preached many times, this is not something that I believe I have been taught alone. I believe in a Pantheistic concept, where the Godhead is the Mind, and the Mind exists in perpetuity.

The "Universal Mind" is the place where "we" go when we die. It is very simple. The "Universal Mind " consists of all the thought which exists now, all the thought which has ever existed, or will yet exist. The human mind is far too feeble to grasp the concept, and that is what is meant to be. Life, with it's seemingly random upsets and misdirections is only a small part of this wonderful existence. In the next set of Books of The Realization, I will outline exactly what I believe. I know that each step will be difficult to believe at first, but you have to believe first of all, that everything you have been taught is not wrong, but misleading. You only now have a small part of the "big picture". I will attempt to paint that picture for you in the succeeding chapters.

The stage is set for the "Book of the Ultimate Realization", updated periodically on "The Universal Blog".