April 12th, 1978
?:?? p.m .
poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
"Spring Fever Once Again"
(for the first time) Cathy poem
He feels, he says; as he writes; going through the same
routine, that he has felt this all before.
But is it true.
It is true
that the routine is same - drink - watch T.V. - drink
- listen to records - Alone - and think.
As it is at work, it was before -
Opening up to people - the only people in the world
But then again alone at night he wonders.
Has he felt this all before.
Someone talks - he listens - he's "all ears"
he hears but nothing penetrates, no, nothing's there.
He looks at her, she's real, she's flesh,
She's feeling, wonder, warmth, so fair.
But subtle hints are given,
Are they real
Or are they cruel
She doesn't say, and this just makes it worse
Why do I, he asks, and rightly, have this curse?
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, she "took him home"
She offered, didn't have to offer
Didn't have to care
But she did
But did she, question?
He blew it, yes , he knows this
He wanted to say
"I think I'm falling in love with you
And won't you please tell me what to do"
But he's afraid, and won't admit it.
Because he feels as if she won't take him
Seriously, and he feels she will think he
Only wants to take her to bed.
This is not true, of course.
(Well, of course it is,
But can never be, unless she returns his love.)
But she cannot.
But will he ever know?
Is he falling in love?
Does he know what love is?
He's asked these questions, countless times, he
knows, and with each poem he writes, with each person he
knows he never realizes what love is.
But
Springtime Symptoms Synchronize----
And is it just the time of year?
He knows that when he met her
She seemed a special person
Alive, warm, most of all real
But does he know her
Does she know him
Why he doesn't want her to touch him lovingly
When he takes love seriously.
He wrote
"Touching is touching, yet attracts to false people."
People, all of us, should not falsely touch.
Every touch should mean something
And if it doesn't
It shouldn't be given.
He gets upset easily,
He knows,
But then.....
He thinks.....,
He knows.....
He isn't sure.....
He Loves Her?
No
.....Afraid to say it.
Wish she liked him too?
Yes
But
Life is a hard road to detour
And love is more complicated than a poetic crush.
The world happens every day and we let it.
We have to .
So
Will anybody mutually fall in love again?
What sport we make of this word love.
What comedy What carelessness.
Love
I've been in love with "love" before.
But what about now.
What is the throbbing feeling in my heart?
Why do I shake when I think of you.
Why do I arrive home and feel happy
If I've spent an hour or two
talking to you
What is the answer to why I can't tell you
Why I feel the way I feel.
Just remember -
I'm not asking for love in return.
I'm just trying to make myself clear.
(If that's possible) (Spring ends, sometimes)
copyright 2001 Michael F. Nyiri
