may 27, 2001 6:51 p.m. pdt
Meaning, there was a time when it all seemed less meaningless than it does now
That time existed in some ethereal space where meaning ceased mattering.
That was a long time ago, too. Here it is the twentyfirst century,
And I can't find the meaning in the momentous millennium.
I thought I could, I practiced for months until it happened,
And when it did it seemed so happenstance.
Love, there was a word I cherished and disdained.
I searched for love until I hurt, and hurt causes meaning to destroy whole continents.
Love ceased to desist, but I craved this love from afar.
I looked up from my (lonely) meal to find peace and anticipation.
I grew tired of meaningless diatribes, even as I formulated my own.
Meaning is found humor, a proclamaiton of presence, a solid footing for disaster.
Love is an emotion few practice, I fear.
Existence, there, that was the flaw. I am here, so I exist.
Just like you and everyone else. But do I exist in reality, or in my tired mind.
I ingested alterations, only to find that the reality wasn't so perpetual.
I grew insistent that this existence should not be in vain.
The existence of the meaning in love is tantamount in thought.
Love exited quickly.
Meaning eluded capture.
Existence keeps on happening, and I'm not sure if I care anymore.
Proof that existence, love, and meaning exist, and are present in me and in mankind?
Look no further than this poem,
Look no further than this existence, this meaningful love of perfection.
It does exist, it's just that so many of us are condemned to waiting for meaning
in perpetuity.
We wait,
We exist,
We sometimes die, and maybe it is answered, as I feel, or maybe not.
These are but the random soliloguies of quietude, reserved for the imminent few.
Spout on about all this, and milk the words of the prophet.
Keep the belief system warm, and I shall comfort you.
And nothing was accomplished, but much was said.
Again and again and again.
Life........goes........on
.................................
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copyright 1999-2004 by Michael F. Nyiri
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