Tuesday, July 25, 2000 6:55 p.m. pdt
"Confessional"
I can't seem to get the faucet to turn off.
try to be 'normal' talk it out, reason prevails.
the tears, a waterfall down my cheeks
my eyes hurt
that constricting feeling in my throat
can't get it all to stop
I really don't know why this is, but then I do.
In two days my dream will end,
even though it almost turned into a nightmare.
and it was a nightmare for you.
the time was only a short moment
A feeling of ecstasy's revelation
but the reality wasn't the fantasy
we can't live in the dream
while it goes bad
demons haunt the very love we posess
believe me I understand
I am a rock when it comes to understanding
but I am a rock of unforseen circumstance
when it comes to you
there are uncertainties which chip at my granite
there are incalculable errors which are made
with each breath I take
I wanted to peek inside your perfection
I wished to walk beside the waters of your soul
Pretty words paint such pretty pictures
I saw you painting our future
I saw me involving us in a bower of beauty
But I was blind
we are in the real world, and we didn't consider the
pitfalls
we are pragmatists but we didn't realize that love is not
a glue
you will do what you have to do
I will survive and so will you
but it doesn't stop the torrent
and it doesn't stop the pain
and through it all I know your pain is
a thousandfold worse than mine.
through it all you deserve more than
I can or could offer
you are that special perfection which can only
be attained by those who have achieved nirvana
and I still have a long path to tread.
do I know for whom I cry tonight
for the misbegotten world and the broken
future in it's plight?
words will pour like tears from my red
and burning eyes
and the embers of emotion
shall escape, forgotten sighs
do I cry for you, for your perfection, and your spirit?
do I cry for me, misunderstanding, and ill dreams?
we do not blame, for this I pray in ecstasy
that we will connect sometime in the future
when you gave me the 'news'
I felt I could take it,
that you are perfectly right and
time has leavened perfection with purpose
I felt that everything would be all right
and I still do
and I ache for you
and I love you more for this
you never wanted trouble or disdain
you never wanted indecision or pain
I never wanted the dream to end
and you made me wake up today
I can only thank you
you know,
as the leaky faucet behind my eyes goes unfixed
I can only thank you for your
steadfastness in knowing the proper
way to correct a situation which
could spiral us into oblivion
both you
and me
us
the best way now for us to survive is for you to go back
to the home you called before you met me
we still can connect through the magic monitor
and our happiness shall maintain us
even as our corporeal selves disconnect and continue our
lives apart
we have tasted the universal
you have seen your creativity enhanced
even as your self esteem has eroded
I believe I know now that I can
never be the person I want to be in
my poetry
and that poetry isn't life
I know that again
I hope the poetry in our existence together is not in vain
I will always love you,
and we will try this again someday in eternity
my faucet is broken my dear
and I know you don't like it when I cry........
Link to the complete graphical versions of Poetry in 2000Link to the graphical version of this poem.
copyright 1999-2004 by Michael F. Nyiri
ElectricPoetry
AllThingsMike
