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Bridge Over Troubled Waters
 

 
Updated: Sun, Nov 11 12:07 AM PST
By MICHAEL F.NYIRI, Recalled from news stories I read somewhere
 
SAN PEDRO, California (HS) – Well, it seems as if those
terrorist attacks on suspension bridges in California news
reports were false.
 
On Thursday, November 1, 2001, California governor
Gray Davis, in response to a confidential FBI report advising
him not to divulge the contents, shocked the nation and
especially his constituents in California by naming six
suspension bridges in the state that were
allegedly being targeted by terrorists for some kind of attack
in the following week.
 
Aside from unnecessarily worrying an already jittery
populace reeling from Sept. 11 and anthrax scares,
the governor
steadfastly put his foot in his mouth, and trumpeted his
misconceptions in time for the evening news and the late
editions.
 
Funny thing is, the reports were incorrect, and
no bridges were targeted.
They are all still standing at this moment in time,
nearly a week later.
 
Thousands across the state filled radio talk shows until
well into the middle of last week with heroic stories of their
determination in not canceling their daily commute across
the bridges.
 
The bridges in question, in case there are still terrorists
who’ve been living in a cave in Afghanistan and don’t know,
were the immensely popular Golden Gate in San Francisco,
the Bay Bridge, which succumbed to a Terrorist Act of God
a few years ago when part of it collapsed in an earthquake,
the Vincent St. Thomas bridge in Los Angeles harbor,
the Coronado Bridge in San Diego,and a couple of
others which would probably have been missed if they
had have been destroyed.
 
“I really fucked up this time”, Gov. Davis might have said
on Wednesday, when alerted that it was all a hoax.
“Keep crossing those bridges. The state certainly needs
the toll fees.”
 
This latest threat didn’t seem to happen, causing the
nation to breathe a collective sigh of relief.
Someone might have said, “Thank God I don’t have
to worry about terrorists blowing up our bridges.
 
Now I can go back to worrying about anthrax and the
possibility of Osama bin Laden
aquiring nuclear weapon
 

In an artist’s (mis)conception,
National Guardsmen patrol the
Golden Gate Bridge against the
type of threat from marauding
Concordes in a scenario which
just might have happened were
it not for the fact that the news
was hearsay after all.
click here for full size photo

National News
From the Nation

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